Thursday, December 17, 2015

Special excerpt from MG fractured fairy tale The Big Fat Mermaid by Dweezel and Pallie

Today I have a special excerpt from the middle-grade fractured fairy tale book, The Big Fat Mermaid by Dweezel and Pallie.

As the authors do their virtual book tour, they will be awarding a $30 Amazon or Barnes and Noble (winner’s choice) gift card to a lucky randomly drawn winner. To be entered for a chance to win, use the form below. To increase your chances of winning, feel free to visit their other tour stops and enter there, too!

A little bit about The Big Fat Mermaid:
She's nasty, she's gross, and she's anything but little. All Aria the mermaid princess wants is to stuff her face full of food, but what happens when her dad, the king, tries to stop her? The answer: laughs beyond belief! Watch as Aria deals with her mean dad, a chubby-chasing prince, a harpoon wielding sea captain, and, in a grand final battle, the monstrous water witch herself.

Aria will bite, belch, and fart her way into your heart in this second installment of the Funny Stories for Kids series, brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.

Excerpt from The Big Fat Mermaid:
“Oh, good,” said Crustacean, swimming into a long, dark, stinking, dirty dungeon. Its cells were full of sad looking sea citizens. “See, Tortly, dis gonna be easy! It like I always say, a good Crustacean is a--”

Crustacean swam directly into a shark.

The shark turned around and growled, showing its wide smile of sharp teeth.

“Oh my!” Crustacean gasped.

 “Intruders!” shouted the shark. He opened his mouth and went to bite Crustacean.

Crustacean dodged the charging shark with some quick swimming moves, but Tortly, behind him, was too slow. Tortly screamed and went into his shell.

The shark caught Tortly in his mouth. He bit down on the turtle’s shell, which became wedged in his mouth.

Crustacean come from behind now and began pinching the shark with his lobster pincers.

“Take some of dis,” Crustacean shouted, poking and pinching, “And some of dis! Not so tough now without you scary teeth!”

Crustacean wound up his little red claws and poked them both into the shark's eyes.

A bit about the authors:
Dr. Dweezel and Professor Pallie have become famed in their respective fields for outstanding contributions. For nearly a decade they have collaborated on the recording of lost ancient texts and tales.

To download "The Big Fat Mermaid" visit:

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Goddess Fish Promotions said...

Thanks for hosting!

Mai T. said...

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

Rita Wray said...

I liked the excerpt.

MomJane said...

Fun excerpt. Fun blurb.

Stormy Vixen said...

Enjoyed the post, sounds like a good book, thanks for sharing!

Anna Josefin Bergman said...

Sounds Interesting

Unknown said...

Great post, thank you!

Victoria Alexander said...

Thanks for sharing :)

Dweezel said...

To MaiT:

I'm still waiting to call myself that! If I were to consider myself one now it would be when we released our first book, "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves."

Dweezel said...

To Lisa Haselton:

Thank you for hosting our story!

Dweezel said...

For everyone:

"The Big Fat Mermaid" is one sale for $0.99 until the new year!

storyteeth said...

then what after next, did they managed to save Trotly? whether the curious mind want to read the story or not but want to know about Trotly?

Haa Haa! why I'm laughing for? I always imagine when a sound passed (Mermaid Princess) me, a beautiful, innocent, and soft innocent girl even I always found at cartoons as well. But what is thaat, you have diverted my mind instead of softness I'm feeling happy.

This is 2nd time a story has changed my imagination. The first story was "
the foolish barber story"

if someone asks me, do you want to change more stuff? why not, if it has the ability then I would be happy to get a new life instead of myself. hope it make any sense.