Today I have a special excerpt from the middle-grade fractured fairy tale book, The Big Fat Mermaid by Dweezel and Pallie.
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A little bit about The Big Fat Mermaid:
She's nasty, she's gross, and she's anything but little. All Aria the mermaid princess wants is to stuff her face full of food, but what happens when her dad, the king, tries to stop her? The answer: laughs beyond belief! Watch as Aria deals with her mean dad, a chubby-chasing prince, a harpoon wielding sea captain, and, in a grand final battle, the monstrous water witch herself.
Aria will bite, belch, and fart her way into your heart in this second installment of the Funny Stories for Kids series, brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.
Excerpt from The Big Fat Mermaid:
“Oh, good,” said Crustacean, swimming into a long, dark, stinking, dirty dungeon. Its cells were full of sad looking sea citizens. “See, Tortly, dis gonna be easy! It like I always say, a good Crustacean is a--”
Crustacean swam directly into a shark.
The shark turned around and growled, showing its wide smile of sharp teeth.
“Oh my!” Crustacean gasped.
“Intruders!” shouted the shark. He opened his mouth and went to bite Crustacean.
Crustacean dodged the charging shark with some quick swimming moves, but Tortly, behind him, was too slow. Tortly screamed and went into his shell.
The shark caught Tortly in his mouth. He bit down on the turtle’s shell, which became wedged in his mouth.
Crustacean come from behind now and began pinching the shark with his lobster pincers.
“Take some of dis,” Crustacean shouted, poking and pinching, “And some of dis! Not so tough now without you scary teeth!”
Crustacean wound up his little red claws and poked them both into the shark's eyes.
Dr. Dweezel and Professor Pallie have become famed in their respective fields for outstanding contributions. For nearly a decade they have collaborated on the recording of lost ancient texts and tales.
To download "The Big Fat Mermaid" visit: