Interview with humor writer Brenda Haas

Today’s interview is with humor writer Brandi Haas as she talks about her book, Tales from Suburbia: You Don’t Have to be Crazy to Live Here, But it Helps.

During her virtual book tour with Goddess Fish Promotions, Brandi will be awarding $30 Amazon or Barnes and Noble gift card to a randomly drawn winner. To be entered for a chance to win, use the form below. To increase your chances of winning, feel free to visit her other tour stops and enter there, too!

Welcome Brandi. Please tell us a little bit about yourself.

In kindergarten, I was asked what I wanted to do when I grew up. My answer was a neatly written sentence: “I want to write a book about a story.”

The joy I find in writing has never waned. I find humor in all that I see and live my life secure in the knowledge that everything is funny. And now after an amazing ten years of teaching, I find myself wife to the world’s best doctor, mother to the sweetest daughter, caretaker to one wonder mutt and countless ill-fated goldfish and ready to write again. Our residence is Anytown, USA, among barking dogs, picket fences, and eclectic neighbors and these are my stories.

Please tell us about your current release.

My book is a collection of quirky short stories about life in the suburbs. The stories are about my life in the PTA and at the grocery store told with a humorous twist.

What inspired you to write this book?

When my daughter started kindergarten I was faced with the decision of whether or not to return to teaching. My husband knew I had always wanted to write so he encouraged me to at least try. I started a blog and as it grew in popularity, I was encouraged to write more stories.

Excerpt: 

Called to the Principal’s Office

“Your daughter had an altercation with some other girls on the playground. Just name-calling, nothing psychical. I just wanted to speak with you about something your daughter said to the other girls,” Dr. Oats says calmly.

And suddenly I know exactly why we are here. Our baby girl had a run-in with those mean girls again. Those girls who won’t let her play unless she is wearing what they are wearing and only when the mood strikes them. The last time our daughter came home crying over these girls, my husband and I sat her down and gave her some ideas as to how to deal with these kinds of situations. My husband wisely told her to just go play with other kids and ignore these girls. My advice was not as sage and is certainly the reason we are sitting here today.

I armed my daughter with clever retorts for the mean kids she encounters which included, but are not limited to:

Perhaps if your parents IQs weren’t below one hundred, you would know how to function within the normal social paradigm.

It’s not your fault your parents don’t love you. It’s the booze.

That Hello Kitty headband makes your forehead look big.

That’s quite a mustache you have there. (Effective for mean girls only—mean boys would take this as a compliment.)

All solid banter for the playground bullies, but now, sitting here in the principal’s office, I start to think my husband’s approach was the better choice. A fact I will never share with him, but I am now plagued with some regret.

“Your daughter called two girls ugly and really hurt their feelings,” says Dr. Oats.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Our sweet, little girl didn’t use mommy’s hilarious, albeit inappropriate, retorts after all. Our daughter went for the one thing we have taught her since she was a baby.

“Dr. Oats, we have always told our daughter that beauty comes from inside a person.”

What exciting story are you working on next?

I am always writing down story ideas. I keep a journal with me at all times so I can jot down the details. The last thing I wrote in my journal was about my daughter’s trip to the dentist so that will probably be my next story.

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

I think I have always considered myself a writer because I have always loved writing. The incredible thing is that now I can call myself an author.

Do you write full-time? If so, what's your work day like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
I write part time and take care of my household the rest of the time. I try to write at least three to four times a week. When I’m not writing I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, and taking my daughter to swim practice and dance class. It’s a lot of work but all those activities are the source of a lot of my stories.

What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?

I never consider any of my stories finished until my husband reads it out loud to me. There’s just something about hearing him read it that helps me decide if I like the tone and diction and general flow of the story.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I think I wanted to be a nurse for short time, but I can’t stand blood so that never came about. I also always said I wanted to write a book.

Anything additional you want to share with the readers?

The greatest thing about my stories is sharing them with people and hearing how people connect with what I’ve written. That part of my writing still blows me away and I appreciate my readers so much!

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Thanks, Brandi!

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