by
Tara Woods Turner and J. Blake Turner, PhD.
During
their virtual book tour, the authors will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes and Noble (winner’s
choice) gift card to a lucky randomly drawn winner. To be entered for a chance
to win, use the form below. To increase
your chances of winning, feel free to visit their other tour stops and enter
there, too.
A little
bit about the book:
Unlock
the key to creating a cultivated life for your child with this targeted
parenting guide. You will learn how to raise an engaging, accomplished and
sophisticated child, one who gets noticed for all the right reasons. From fine
dining, travel and art appreciation to navigating social media with integrity -
Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child will show you how to
take your child to the next level. Whether your child is 5 or 15 this is the
one book you will reference time and again for advice and techniques that are
relevant, practical and insightful.
Excerpt from Beyond Good Manners:
Chapter 6 -
Wardrobe and Grooming
Let's imagine you’re
dressing for a dinner party and your child insists on wearing a glittery,
sparkling ballet tutu instead of the $80 shantung Capri pants you bought for
her. What should you do? Let her wear the tutu. Crushing her sense of whimsy
will do nothing to cultivate a sense of style for your child. It is not
necessarily a battle of wills. She is simply trying to tell you something about
herself. Listen carefully and then take the lead. Compliment her ownership of
her appearance and use it as an opportunity to open the conversation about
choices. Explain to her that she can wear the sparkly tutu but she should
understand that it is not the most appropriate thing in her closet to consider.
Tell her that this is an occasion where there is room for negotiation but that
this will not always be the case. Then unveil some awesome ideas to add to the
fun. You can show her how to further explore the topic of ballet and ballet
costumes. She can read age-appropriate books on ballet and describe her
favorite parts to you; watch documentaries on or video clips about actual child
ballerinas; recreate a scene from Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake with her dolls or
arts and crafts supplies. Introduce her to basic French ballet terms such as
pas de deux or pliè and see if she can reproduce the first five positions. Kick
off your shoes and do it with her! In future she will don her tutu with pride
because she not only earned it but because her appreciation is now informed.
More importantly, you have quieted her frustration - not her voice - and
created a platform for growth and development. With time she will find more
constructive, cooperative ways to display her individuality and creativity
because you wisely chose to not make her behavior the basis for your response.
Tara
Woods Turner is an etiquette consultant, author and content contributor. She
lives in New York City and believes strong societies are built upon strong
families. She also spends way too much time analyzing James Taylor lyrics.
J. Blake Turner PhD, a
researcher in mental health and associate professor at Columbia University,
lives in New York City and is much more sophisticated than he used to be.
